September Newsletter
I can do it with a (literal) broken heart
Spoiler alert: I’m fine.
Maybe I’d get more subscribers if I left that conclusion until later in the newsletter, but there are limits to how clickbait-y I’m willing to be. I’m sharing this medical saga mostly because it ate up so much of my month and I have little else to write about, and if I have to suffer through the expense and inconvenience I feel like I at least deserve to milk it for Content.
“I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but you need to go the the ER.”
That’s what my PCP said to me after I’d come in for a minor issue unrelated to my heart. They’d done an EKG repeatedly and determined that my results were abnormal enough that I needed a lot more tests run.
“But I feel fine,” I said.
“If you’re not having symptoms, you can drive yourself,” the doctor said. “Otherwise, we can call an ambulance.”
“NO NO I CAN DEFINITELY DRIVE,” I said, picturing all the dramatics of an ambulance coming to pick up me when I looked and felt perfectly fine.
I hadn’t been to the ER since I was a kid, and felt kind of ridiculous sitting in the waiting room feeling completely normal, trying to get some work done on my laptop.
My attempts to convince the ER staff that I was totally fine and could definitely go home failed spectacularly as soon as they put a needle in my arm.
I’m normally fine with needles—shots and blood draws typically don’t phase me. I’ve only gotten woozy from needles a handful of times, and all of them were when the needle was left in me for IV access. Naturally, this is what they do at the ER.
One moment, I was walking over to radiology, the next I was slumped forward in a chair, half-conscious, while a bunch of people moved around me and plopped me into a stretcher, very concerned since I was there for a heart issue.
“It’s just because of the needle!” I tried to argue, once the blood returned to my brain. Shockingly, they did not just take my word for it. (Fast forward a few weeks and my cardiologist agrees it was also probably just because of the needle, but no one will ever really know.)
After eight hours, a bunch of tests, and trying unsuccessfully to type with one of those fingertip pulse oximeters on, I was finally allowed to leave. The doctor was profusely apologetic for the wait, to which I said: “It’s fine, I figured you were helping people having emergencies.”
You would have thought I’d given him a million dollars from the way he reacted.
“You are very compassionate and I thank you for that,” he said. Which made me wonder how awful are people normally to this poor guy?? As annoying as the whole day was, I figured that some people were having their severed limbs reattached right next door. Considering the fact that I could walk out with all the limbs I walked in with, I had a pretty good day in the grand scheme of things.
I don’t want to get super specific about my health online because people tend to feel compelled to give advice, but here’s the short version:
My heart is behaving like a little weirdo sometimes, but this is most likely not going to be a serious problem, or even necessarily one that requires treatment. I’m still doing some tests, but I’m finally (after a whole saga of trying and failing to get a cardiologist appointment) allowed to do things like run and drink caffeine. Most importantly, I feel fine. Despite how annoying, expensive, and inconvenient this whole saga has been, I know I’m incredibly lucky to have access to good healthcare and I know it’s better to be annoyed than actually ill.
I’m now happily running outside for my favorite season in New England, just as the leaves are changing and the weather is cooling down. I’m unfortunately a bit deconditioned at this point—even aside from when I wasn’t allowed to run, I’d taken time off for travel and recurring back pain (thank you 30-year-old body). I had plans to be in tip top shape by this Thanksgiving and absolutely dominate the Boston Half Marathon this year, but things obviously haven’t gone according to plan.
But I know that running is a long game, and that there are more important things in life. For now, I’m just trying to enjoy my runs and appreciate that I get to do them at all.
Right before this all happened, I did manage to go to a My Chemical Romance concert!
This is probably not that surprising to anyone, but I was an emo kid.
I first watched an MCR music video in fifth grade (20 years ago!!) and was devastated when they broke up before I ever got to see them in concert. So when I saw they were coming to Boston, I grabbed my friend Kaleigh and got tickets ASAP.
It was incredible.
Aside from just being a spectacularly fun show (MCR really prioritizes putting on a whole theatrical production), I couldn’t stop thinking of how cool middle school Kylie would think this is. The fact that I’m here, seeing MCR in person, and bought the tickets with money I made from writing fantasy and horror books. The fact that this is my JOB now. Young emo Kylie would definitely have worried a lot less (and probably been a lot less emo) if she’d known that this was where I’d end up.
Also, MCR is still such a good band. Their songs really held up well over time, and yes I remembered 100% of the lyrics.
I’m deep into revisions on my next YA book, which still hasn’t been announced, but we’re looking at an early 2027 release date!
This particular revision required me to essentially scoop out the middle of the book like I was hollowing out a Jack-o-lantern and rearrange all the seeds. I had to make a whole new outline and then pull in parts from the old version, interspersed with new scenes that I fast-drafted. The good news is the book is now even more absurd, much to my delight. The bad news is that, thanks to my Heart Adventure, I’m running a bit behind.
In a surprise to absolutely no one, it’s incredibly hard to get work done when all you can do is lie on the floor all day (thank you, back pain) without your regular coffee, and your head is full of anxious thoughts about maybe having a heart attack at any moment (I now know this is not going to happen, so don’t worry).
But everything is now coming together, and I’m happy with how this book is shaping up. I’m also excited to move on to new projects and will truly celebrate when I turn in this revision because let me tell you, I am stressed.
Not because I feel like I can’t complete this revision in a reasonable time frame, or because I think the book isn’t good, or anything like that. But as a freelance writer I often feel like I’m in a race against myself to put out new books, to be ahead of schedule, to have a perfectly polished book ready and waiting by the time I turn in the final draft of the previous one.
I’m also very behind on blurb requests.
For those of you who don’t know, the quotes on the back of a book where other authors praise the book you’re holding are called “blurbs.” I’ve agreed to read and potentially blurb a lot of books as of late because I always do my best to support other authors, but I’ve fallen quite behind. The taller the stack of books grows, the less I want to touch it due to overwhelm.
But I’m working through it one page at a time, and tell myself that some progress is better than none. More than anything, I never want to come across as an author who thinks she’s too good to help others out, or who will only give blurbs for her friends.
I’m moderating T. Kingfisher’s launch event for What Stalks the Deep at Brookline Booksmith this Friday, October 3rd! Tickets are already sold out—apologies, as this was a very last-minute event.
I’ll also be at the Fables & Flames Romantasy Gala in Minneapolis, November 21-23!
Preorder Links:
I’ll Find You Where the Timeline Ends (11/18/25)
Japanese Gothic (4/21/26)
Signed copies of all my books (request signature in order comments): Porter Square Books
What I’m Reading:
All three books in T. Kingfisher’s Sworn Soldier series! I read What Moves the Dead several years ago and really enjoyed re-reading it as well as continuing with the series. The third book (What Stalks the Deep) has some scenes in Boston, much to my delight.
I also read Horror as Racism in H.P. Lovecraft: White Fragility in the Weird Tales by John L. Steadman alongside a collection of H.P. Lovecraft’s stories. As a horror author, I felt obligated to be more familiar with H.P. Lovecraft’s work so I could speak more eloquently about why it’s considered offensive today. I had my post-its and highlighters ready, keen to search for subtle signs of racism in the stories… I didn’t have to look far. In the first story of the collection, the MC’s black cat is literally named the N Word. Suffice it to say I found the nonfiction book that broke down Lovecraft’s lifelong insecurities which he projected onto BIPOC far more interesting than Lovecraft’s actual stories.
What I’m watching:
Alice in Borderland Season 3. My 2027 YA book is inspired by this series in small ways, so I’m excited to see where season 3 goes.
Wednesday season 2. This is still a fun brain-off show for me. I may be an Isaac Night stan for life.
That’s all from me this month! Happy Fall, everyone!
All my best,
Kylie
Hi Kylie. I’m so glad to hear that you are well after your scare. I’ve enjoyed reading your books and following your career, and what a treat to see TWO of my former students at an MCR concert! Congratulations on everything, and take care of yourself.
Bowfly